Booted
by Blue Jeans
Summary: Ever wonder why some things just seem to HAPPEN in the BSSMuniverse? Well, here are some wacky answers to those why's! Contains some cursing, character death, and pissed off senshi also featuring the ever


(I admit, the first time I wrote this fic I left it somewhat hanging. Now   
I've added an end to it and (key word) tried to take out most of the little   
mistakes I've made here and there. Have fun reading! It is all light   
hearted comedy and nothing truly serious. This story is rated PG-13 for  
language.)  
  
  
.blue.  
  
  
  
Booted  
******  
(Revised and 10x better!-- I hope...)  
  
.blue.  
  
Hino Rei sat down and sipped her drink with narrowed eyes at her   
opponent from across the table. The air was heavy with tension for   
silence was their only form of communication.  
  
"Nani yo?" Kino Makoto sighed in exasperation as she looked to   
the couple in front of her. "What is it this time?"  
  
Ami blushed. "Usagi-chan stole Rayearth, Volume 4 from Rei-  
chan," the blue-haired genius sighed. "They've stopped talking to each   
other, yet again."  
  
Rei fumed silently some more, but the blonde before her was the   
first to break eye contact. "What do you mean by saying that *I* stole   
Rei-chan's manga?" Tsukino Usagi demanded. "I didn't *steal* it, I   
*borrowed* it!"  
  
Makoto winked at the frizzled blond. "So, you asked for Rei-  
chan's permission before hand, ne?"  
  
Usagi's hand slipped on the table as she faltered, sweatdropping   
slightly. "Well," the sheepish girl smiled, "I'm going to return it when   
I'm done reading it..."  
  
Rei huffed at that. "If Usagi had asked, she'd never have gotten   
the manga in the first place. If she wanted to read it so bad, she can   
buy her own." The dark-haired girl raised her imperious nose into the   
air, missing Ami and Makoto's both sinking lower into their seats and   
Usagi's angry face.  
  
Minako picked that moment to look up from her drink. "Well, you   
know what they say--".Rei smiled slyly as she opened one eye in Usagi's   
direction.  
  
"Hai!" The dark-haired girl leaned over the table towards Usagi.   
"Premonition and hundreds of years of Shinto wisdom tell me, Usagi, that   
if you scrunch your face anymore, you'll look like an old grandmother by   
the time you're sixteen, odango."  
  
"Rei-chan," Usagi's lower lip trembled, "you're so cruel!" The   
last word ended with a wail.  
  
Everyone sweatdropped except Minako, who looked puzzled as she   
thoughtfully put one finger to her chin. "No, I wasn't going to say   
that." The blonde put one hand behind her head as she smiled   
innocently, "I was just going to say that a manga borrowed will soon be   
sorrowed!" Blue eyes turned fierce at the last word, as one finger   
pointed to the ceiling as Minako nodded enthusiastically in agreement to   
her own words. "Hai, hai!"  
  
Three heads hit the table and groaned in exasperation as Usagi   
continued to wail, and the people in the Crown Fruit Parlor experienced   
another episode of modern, teenage drama.  
  
***  
  
Tsukino Usagi was having a very bad week. First of all, her alarm   
failed her, and her okaasan didn't wake her up for school, so she was   
late. Then, there was her math test that she didn't study for, and the   
homework that was due that she was unable to finish. Not to mention   
Luna was scolding her again for being lazy! The fifteen she got on her   
test once she got it back didn't help, her mother locking her out of the   
house when she saw it made it worse, Mamo-chan sighing in disappointment at   
yet another failure almost broke her heart... and on top of all of that, a   
youma at two in the morning, Sunday morning!  
  
No, Tsukino Usagi was not pleased with her week as she shouted out   
the magical phrase that would turn her into a super heroine. Nor would   
Super Sailor Moon be very happy with the youma that ruined her beauty   
sleep. Grumbling about the ache on her face from falling as Luna   
shouted into her ear -- while she was having a wonderful dream about Mamo-  
chan and herself -- and finding the inconsideration of it all, Super   
Sailor Moon hurried down the street.  
  
"Matte! Matte!"  
  
Super Sailor Moon stopped before the tiny youma in her path,   
blinking in surprise at the little fur ball before her. Stars lit into   
her eyes as she clasped her hands together happily, staring down at the   
dark demon before her. "K-A-W-A-I-I!"  
  
The youma sweatdropped, "Matte! Matte!" It repeated itself,   
annoyed at the super heroine before it. Furrowing the super cute face   
it had into a super duper cute angry face, it bounced in place.  
  
"Are you lost, little guy?" Super Sailor Moon asked as she made a   
reach for it.  
  
The little youma opened its mouth and swore, its voice squeaking   
as it bounced up and down in frustration, "Matte! Matte!"  
  
Super Sailor Moon touched one gloved finger to her chin   
thoughtfully, "Is that your name, chibi kawaii? Matte?"  
  
Matte bounced happily up and down, "Matte!" And then changed into   
a large ugly thing.  
  
Super Sailor Moon jumped back, repulsed. "Nani yo?" She screeched   
in surprise. "What did you do with chibi kawaii, Matte?" she demanded of   
the monster before her.  
  
"Matte!" The youma growled and attacked the spacey super heroine.   
"Matte!"  
  
So, Super Sailor Moon was not having any luck either these days,   
she had no choice but to fight!  
  
***  
  
"Okay, let me get this straight. On your way here, you saw a cute   
little fur ball, who you stopped to *talk* to, but a big youma ate the   
little guy and so to avenge its death you fought the youma and that's why   
you're late?" Sailor Mars blinked her purple eyes at Super Sailor Moon in   
amazement, "And we're suppose to buy this story, how?"  
  
"No, no, Mars-chan!" Sailor Senshi Venus shook her head as she   
scrolled up the poster with Sailor Moon on it. "You can't say it like   
that! You'll have to be meaner, bitchier, and make Sailor Moon cry,   
remember?"  
  
Sailor Mars blinked again, "But it makes no sense since she's my   
best-- um, my friend."  
  
"Mars, the storyline rests in your hands," Artemis told her   
sagely. Everyone sweatdropped at that.  
  
Sailor Mars sighed as she flipped her hair, "Well, I guess I could   
pull it off."  
  
Sailor Mercury suddenly brightened at an idea, "Mars-chan," the   
blue-haired senshi smiled softly. "Remember Volume 3 of Sailor V that   
you couldn't find anywhere yesterday?" Sailor Mars nodded, her eyes   
narrowing in suspicion. "Usagi-chan *borrowed* it."  
  
Sailor Jupiter was startled into action by the elbow to her side,   
amazed at the deviousness of her blue-haired friend. "Hai," the   
brunette quickly agreed. "I was reading it with Usagi--" The rose   
landed in front of the tall brunette, effectively cutting off her   
sentence.  
  
"No Sailor Suited Senshi should toast the other for foolishly   
speaking words that best be left in silence," Tuxedo Kamen stated   
firmly as he landed on the ground.  
  
Jupiter smiled thankfully, abashed at almost getting herself   
fried with Super Sailor Moon. "Hai!"  
  
"Okay min'na-san, here she comes!" Sailor Venus warned the   
others. Tuxedo Kamen quickly slipped back onto his tree branch, the   
youma unfroze and begun to fight them viciously as Super Sailor Moon   
hurried onto the scene.  
  
"Ah, man! Why do we always have to be bashed around when this   
happens?" Sailor Jupiter asked.  
  
Sailor Mercury sighed, "We have to seem weak to begin with,   
Jupiter. Otherwise, it wouldn't work."  
  
Annoyed, but accepting the fact, the Pretty Suited Sailor Senshi   
prepared to get bashed around, and once in awhile threw magical   
phrases at a tree or two to make it look like they were actually trying to   
fight. Anyway, it wasn't like the youma was smart enough to dodge even   
one of those attacks if it wasn't in the script.  
  
Artemis promptly took this as a bad cue and decided that he had  
better things to do with his time. So he slipped away without being  
noticed since nobody ever really seemed to notice him anyway.  
  
***  
  
Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry...  
  
Super Sailor Moon ran, hearing the events of a battle going on as   
she neared. Her eyes widened at the battered looks of her friends.  
  
Somehow, she was feeling déja vu.  
  
***  
  
That was way too easy. "I can't believe you guys couldn't kill that   
thing!" Sailor Moon placed her hands onto her hips and looked in disbelief   
at the remaining ashes of the dead youma at her feet. The "thing"   
practically fell apart at the touch of her diskette, or was it her boot that   
did the job? Sailor Moon wasn't sure anymore but the others sure looked   
battered from all the efforts they seemed to have put into this "weakening   
the enemy" thing.  
  
Tuxedo Kamen, being his usual non-helpfulness saw to it that the   
youma had died before he decided to leave early. And now the girls were to   
their own devices.  
  
"Why you--" Mars began to fume as she raised on white-gloved fist   
in annoyance. The dark-haired senshi was sore in more than a few places and   
all because some stupid idiot who wrote the show deemed that even though the   
four of the senshi could throw ice, fire, lightening, and energy, it just   
wasn't enough! No, they had to act like incompetent idiots and not hit the   
damn, stupid monster of the day. It just had to be Sailor Moon who did the   
finishing touch, nobody else was qualified to have the last say in this   
because, what? They named the show Sailor Moon? Didn't the Pretty Sailor   
Soldiers before that mean anything anymore?  
  
"Psst," Venus hissed at Mars while Jupiter tried to distract Sailor   
Moon by pointing at a nearby vending machine that sold ice cream. "Aren't   
you supposed to give the bitchy speech about how worthless she is by now,   
Rei-chan?"  
  
Mars turned death glares at the blonde next to her having been   
snapped out of her bitchy thoughts, "Says who?" Sailor Mars grounded out   
through gritted teeth, "Why the hell do I have to be the bad guy?"  
  
"Rei-chan, be reasonable," Mercury admonished. "You know better   
than anyone how much I wish it was me giving the speech, but it will be out   
of character if I did it. And Minako-chan's just not serious enough--"  
  
"Hey!" Venus protested, "I'm the best actress here," the blonde   
stomped her foot in agitation.  
  
"Says so only in the script, doesn't mean its true." Jupiter joined   
in the conversation.  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be distracting Usagi?" Mars asked with a   
raised brow.  
  
"Ara, Luna's doing that," Jupiter waved a hand. "I mean, she is   
*the* talking cat after all. If she can't do it, I don't know who can!"  
  
"So, onto this whole "Kicking Usagi-chan out of the Senshi Team"   
thang," Mercury slurred as she stuck out one hip that she rested her hand on   
and waved her other hand palms down, in a very suave and devilish way.   
Mercury was developing her attitude again, she claimed it would help her   
get a better role and then she could quit this stupid job on the side as   
Sailor Mercury.  
  
"Ami-chan!" Mars admonished, "Remember your personality!"  
  
Mercury sighed, straightened herself and rephrased her earlier   
statement, "Let's get back to the plan, min'na. The script clearly says   
that one of us tells Usagi-chan bluntly that she sucks and can't be the   
leader anymore."  
  
"Pretty obvious if you asks me that it's Rei-chan's job." Jupiter   
hitched a thumb in the direction of Mars.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Mars demanded, "I'm the only one who   
doesn't treat her like a child and all of a sudden, even though I'm the   
only one of us that has any respect and hope for that girl, I'm suddenly   
spiteful? What the hell kind of sense does that make?"  
  
Venus shrugged, "Beats me. I swear, somebody screwed up and forgot   
that you were her best friend to begin with. I mean even I didn't come   
close with all that protecting her till my soul whither and dies of a slow   
and--"  
  
"Okay, Minako-chan, we get the idea." Jupiter glanced over her   
shoulder impatiently. "We got to decide soon guys, she's not going to be   
glued to that ice-cream cone forever!"  
  
"Oh yeah?" Mercury rolled her eyes, "That glutton, she can be glued   
to that ice-cream cone even when the Time Stream ends!"  
  
"Shhh!" Venus shushed the annoyed Mercury, "You're not supposed to   
tell it so bluntly yet! Chibiusa has just appeared again and the whole   
thing with Pluto is still a little screwed up right now. The only reason   
that pink fluff's not here is because Usagi-chan's father decided to take   
her to that amusement park."  
  
"And Usagi-chan wouldn't stopped complaining about that for the hour   
that I had to spend with her on the phone. Gods, they just don't pay me   
enough for this job!" Jupiter sighed as she rubbed her temple slowly.  
  
"So why don't you do it, Mako-chan?" Mars asked.  
  
"What? I'm the protective, older sister that's supposed to go with   
this reluctantly because I broke my arm remember."  
  
"Which arm is that? Because neither of them are broken," Mercury   
pointed it out with an amused look in her eyes.  
  
Jupiter sighed again, "This is going to hurt like hell." The woman   
complained and then promptly walked off to a nearby alley way. In less than   
a minute, a few muttered curses and a muffled scream could be heard.  
  
"Yep, they definitely don't pay *her* enough for this job." Mars   
nodded.  
  
"So you see, Rei-chan," Mercury waved a scolding finger up and down   
in front of Mars' face. "You're the only one who is qualified for the   
bickering. The baka screen-play writers are just going to say that it was   
one of those fights between you two that got out of hand."  
  
Venus shrugged, "Hey, people are dense sometimes. They think you   
got to be all sugary and mushy and upfront about your love for it to be   
real. I mean look at how they made me!"  
  
Mars shuddered, "I don't think they pay you enough either." The   
dark-haired senshi sighed before agreeing. "Alright! I'm ready for this!"  
  
Mercury tapped on her keys, finishing her game of bomber-man and   
looked over to the bubbling Sailor Moon. "I kind of feel sorry for her,"   
the blonde next to Mercury admitted. "I mean, she doesn't get to share in   
any of the real fun we have when we're not on screen and she's definitely   
not that popular with the crew since she's really been left out in the cold  
that this is just a show and not her fantasy story."  
  
"I don't," Mercury shrugged as she glanced at the disappearing cone,   
probably the odango-haired senshi's second. Jupiter was being cautious and   
for that Mercury was thankful. "She gets the fame and the loneliness,   
while we get to live real lives!"  
  
"Still, it's a bit cruel," Venus shook her long hair. "Oh well,   
that's her life. She gets paid more than all of us so I guess she does   
deserve it, even if she doesn't know that her allowance money is from being  
Sailor Moon."  
  
"I feel kind of bad for Rei-chan though," Mercury admitted as she   
set down her computer and slid of the visor she wore before smashing it   
against the brick wall next to her. "I mean... she's the nicest person of all   
of us and she's the only one who makes an effort with Usagi-chan on and off   
the set, and now she's going to be public enemy number one with the audience   
just because of this misguided view of her personality. Must be hard   
playing the bitch of the team."  
  
Venus giggled slightly at this, "Well, I think she enjoys it most of   
the time. Out of all of us, she's the only one who always gets to let out   
steam. And think about it Ami-chan, the only senshi that gets to hang onto   
the leading man *is* our Rei-chan!"  
  
"Oh well, that cone is almost gone." Mercury observed and swiftly   
changed the subject. "We should get ready!" A gleam of anticipation shone   
in those azure eyes as Mercury looked over at their leader and Mars who was   
reluctantly approaching her.  
  
Jupiter grunted beside Venus, clutching at her arm that was now at a   
very odd angle. "I would hate to be you in the morning," Venus said as they   
watched Mars walk towards Sailor Moon.  
  
"Yeah, well we better get this show going because I really need to   
go to a hospital." Jupiter grunted as she shifted her head towards Sailor   
Mars and Sailor Moon while Venus watched Jupiter toss her henshin stick back   
into her dimensional pocket. The green wand now had a few teeth marks on it   
and now Venus knew how the other had been so quiet when she went about   
breaking her own arm.  
  
"I agree," Mercury nodded as she set her broken visor over her eyes   
again. It looked strange on her as she turned back towards them. "They're   
going to start arguing soon so we better be ready to support Rei-chan and   
act all hesitant but angry at Usagi-chan."  
  
"That's easy, I'm in pain!" Jupiter grouched as they went forward.  
  
Mercury sighed, "Must hold back," the blue-haired senshi muttered to   
herself. "Must hold back."  
  
"What's with her?" Jupiter whispered to Venus, wincing when she had   
to bend and then straighten at the stealthy act.  
  
"Last paycheck wasn't so good," Venus told her. "And the critics   
and Moon-fans kept saying she's boring. I think Ami-chan's getting annoyed   
with her role as the placid, little book-worm. Anyway, she never got along   
with Usagi-chan to begin with. Especially since this whole supporting-   
Usagi-chan act is, well, what it has always been, an act."  
  
"She's good," Jupiter grunted with effort. "Even I was never that   
good at hiding everything. I'm just glad I sort of like the girl, it's not   
her fault and all."  
  
"Yeah, and you're the one that gets the guys all drooling over your   
bouncy breasts and long legs." Venus snapped slightly as they neared the   
arguing pair before them. She quickly quieted her voice as she flashed a   
look at Jupiter that spoke of her silent apology. "Sorry, stress of the   
job."  
  
"Don't worry about it," Jupiter patted her shoulder. "I understand.  
Can't always act like a cheerful ditz and not want to hit something.   
Especially since they made your love life the total opposite of your name.   
True irony there, Minako-chan."  
  
"You're one of the lucky ones in this job, Mako-chan." Venus   
sighed, "You get the attention and you get to act violent in the process."  
  
"Tell that to my arm." Jupiter grinned but they had to put back   
their professional faces once they reached the others. The brunette   
grimaced at this, her arm hurting like hell and her vision blurring. But she   
was a Sailor Senshi, she'd be fine by the next episode so it wasn't like she   
could complain. There were plus sides to this job, and anyway, they   
couldn't kill her any time soon, at least, not yet. Even if she did die,   
she'd just get brought back again.  
  
The arm still hurts like hell.  
  
Poor Rei-chan, Makoto thought to herself. Sometimes being a bitch   
just ain't all that it was cut out to be and she knew the hate-mail was just   
going to pile up again at the dark-haired senshi's doorstep. Well, that's   
life for you.  
  
What a bastard! Just like that stupid, old sempai they kept having   
her mutter about. Yup, life was definitely a bastard. A bitch would have   
been at least a little more craftier! With that thought in mind, Jupiter   
put her thoughts away and began to act like herself again... urr... her   
other self.  
  
  
***  
  
  
"How can you be so irresponsible?" Mars demanded to the teary   
Sailor Moon.  
  
"What do you mean irresponsible?" Sailor Moon demanded back in   
return. "That youma was an easy kill, you guys could have finished it off   
on your own and you blame it on me because what? That I was late?" The   
odango-blonde looked pissed. Must be because she had a fight with   
Chibiusa and Mamoru a before this, Mars thought regrettably but then made   
sure to harden her gaze so that the thought didn't reflect in her eyes.  
  
"You are the leader of the Sailor Senshi which means you should be   
on time for once. Because of your tardiness, Jupiter broke her arm, Venus   
is all scratched up, Mercury nearly got her skull smashed in and I've got   
more than enough bruises to keep me up at nights! What do you have to say   
to that? That you're sorry? Well, sorry doesn't cut it missy because it's   
our lives on the line here!" Mars yelled back, trying to act as irrational   
as she could so that her words would make less sense.  
  
"Is this what this is all about? Well, I'd say you got yourself   
into the situation. If you couldn't handle it then why didn't you leave it   
alone and wait for me to get here?" Sailor Moon stomped her booted foot as   
tears streamed down her eyes. Poor girl, Mars thought again, Usagi really   
did hate being in the spotlight.  
  
"And let that thing hurt an innocent person while its on the hunt   
for energy? Are you crazy? Of course I can't do that! My job is to   
protect the people of Earth and not just love and justice! If you're stupid   
enough to ask that question and demand why I didn't act like a coward simply   
because I couldn't beat a stronger enemy then I don't think you deserve the   
position as our leader!"  
  
"That was smooth!" Luna admitted to Mercury below her breath and   
the blue-haired senshi coughed slightly to hid her giggle of agreement.  
  
"Is this what this is all about? Your greed to become leader and   
get my position?" Sailor Moon screamed back.  
  
"No! It's about responsibilities and your inability to handle it!"   
Mars answered back with equal volume. "You don't deserve that power if you   
abuse it all the time and not use it to your best abilities when other   
people could benefit from it so much more if you were just a little less   
careless!"  
  
"You cruel, heartless, b-- meany!" Sailor Moon corrected herself in   
realization of who was watching it. Little kids would like her less if she   
used such a word. And then she promptly broke out into strategic tears.  
  
"Rei-chan's definitely going to get hate mails from this," Venus   
nodded sadly.  
  
"But she's amazingly good at being the logical, bad guy," Jupiter   
added, amazed enough for a moment to forget her pain. But that didn't last   
and the brunette ended up wincing again.  
  
"Look, we don't have time to argue about this now," Mars sneered,   
"Jupiter's in pain and we need to get her to a hospital."  
  
"Don't you dare change the subject!" Sailor Moon cut in   
breathlessly, "If you want my damn position then just say it! Say it!"  
  
"Damnit, I don't have time for this, Usagi!" Mars exploded,   
"Jupiter is hurt and--"  
  
"Say it and we'll leave for whatever other excuses you have. If   
your going to kick me out at least tell me the truth!"  
  
Mars looked grimly at this for a moment, casting a glance at   
Jupiter's hazy expression before sighing and setting her expression to dour   
defeat. "Fine, I want to be leader. Now can we go?"  
  
It was Sailor Moon's turn to sneer, "I knew it! And no you traitor,   
you're the one who's going to get kicked out! I'm the princess and you have   
just committed treason!"  
  
Mercury quickly stepped in, "I agree with Mars," the blue-haired   
woman said almost a bit rashly because she looked to have enjoyed the sudden   
shock on Sailor Moon's face a little too much, but then she controlled her   
features and was grave again. Mars was amazed, Mercury was a really great   
actress, which made her wonder what bad luck landed the other into the job   
she was in. "You weren't being responsible and you don't even seem to care   
about Mako-chan being hurt. All your focused on is your own selfish and   
childish obsessions. I don't want to follow a leader like that."  
  
"I thought at least you would care, Sailor Moon," Jupiter grounded   
out through clenched teeth. Oh, but the pain was real, because she was   
really beginning to feel dizzy and she wasn't sure if she could make it to a   
hospital on her own.  
  
"I did too," Venus added in disappointment, or as much as she could   
put into her voice. Those blue eyes stopped Sailor Moon from saying   
anything else. "Please leave, Sailor Moon, we don't want to follow a leader   
who doesn't even care about those who follows her, especially if all she's   
worried about is keeping her position as the team's captain. I don't want   
to fight with someone who's that selfish."  
  
"Min-Min'na!" Sailor Moon's lower lip trembled and almost, almost   
Mars said something but then held back as Mercury shot her a look. "You're   
all against me! I can't believe this! Oh, but I'll make you pay, just you   
wait and see!" With that, the girl ran away.  
  
"Let's go get you to the hospital, Mako-chan," Mars sighed sadly.  
  
"You did a good job, Rei-chan." Venus patted the other's arm   
reassuringly as they half carried Jupiter away.  
  
Mercury nodded enthusiastically, "Hell, I couldn't have done a   
better job! You really rock that role, Rei-chan."  
  
"Don't remind me," Mars sighed softly but smiled at the concerned   
looks her friends shot her. "Well, it can't be that bad I guess. But the   
authors of the script is sure going to make us pay..."  
  
  
***  
  
  
On her way home, Sailor Moon, blinded by her tears, was hit by a   
mad Mack truck.  
  
Artemis got out of the front and shook his head. "Damn it, Luna   
always told me not to try this!" Blue eyes blinked, "What the hell did I   
hit anyway? Looked like a badly made bunch of spaghetti and yellow   
meatballs--?" Well, it might have had been slightly of a moldy, green   
shine to it too now that Artemis thought on it.  
  
"Artemis!" Luna's voice suddenly came and the white cat looked   
nervously to see the other feline scolding him. "What did I tell you about   
driving in the shape you're in?"  
  
"Ah? It doesn't work when I'm a cat?"  
  
"Baka, imagine what could have happened! You could have gotten   
into an accident and that airbag would have blown you straight to the   
Moon!" Luna kept scolding him.  
  
"Don't remind me!" Artemis said. "But it's just so boring on the   
set! I never get to do anything intelligent or fun!"  
  
"You call driving *that* intelligent fun?" Luna asked   
incredulously.  
  
"Well," Artemis stuttered with a slightly sheepish smile. "It   
*was* fun!"  
  
"So, what did you run over this time?"  
  
"Don't know, do you want to check?" Artemis asked.  
  
"You're the lazy one that ever tried road kill!" Luna sniffed in   
disdain. "Of course I don't want to check!"  
  
"Oh well!" Artemis shrugged, "I ain't checking. I've learned my   
lesson and let me tell you, something that taste like burnt rubber is too   
disgusting even for my appetite!"  
  
  
***  
  
  
"Rei-chan, did that crystal just drop onto your lap or is it just   
me?" Minako blinked.  
  
"I hope it's not just you!" Ami added cheerfully, though slightly   
surprised herself.  
  
The door suddenly bursts open and a crazed looking Chiba Mamoru runs   
in. "Sailor Moon-- Rei?" Mamoru blinked, "It's true! You got rid of both   
of them!"  
  
"Huh?" Rei looked bewildered as Makoto lazed at the bed with her   
arm in a cast.  
  
"The girl's dead, hence no more Chibiusa." Makoto explained as she   
examined her nails.  
  
Mamoru cried out in joy and hugged Rei to him, "I don't know how to   
thank you!"  
  
"You could do that by letting me go first," Rei suggested with   
agitation.  
  
"Never did like going out with him on the show," Ami explained   
to the startled look on Venus' face.  
  
"But I thought--" Minako begun.  
  
Ami shook her head, "Other way around, but not on the show.   
Remember, wacky writers!"  
  
"Ara!" Minako nodded in understanding.  
  
"So what do we do now?" Mamoru asked awkwardly once he pulled away   
from the glaring Rei.  
  
"You can start by removing your hands from my butt," Rei glowered.  
  
"Sorry, sorry!" Mamoru waved his hands in front of the angry Rei   
and quickly took a few steps back.  
  
"Thank you," Rei sighed in relief. "Now, what to do." She glanced   
at Makoto. "I want this to be a new episode." Instantly the caste   
disappeared and Makoto grinned happily at this. "And I wish Ami-chan had   
the attitude problem that she always wish she had!" A whop came from the   
blue-haired senshi as she jumped from her chair and then slinked over to the   
fidgeting dark-haired prince.  
  
"Yo babe!" Ami drawled and slapped Mamoru's on the ass. She   
turned happily to her wide-eyed friends, "What? I always wanted to do   
that!"  
  
Rei sweatdropped while she continued, "And I want Minako-chan to   
finally live up to her name-sake!"  
  
A knock came to the door as Motoki stuck his head in and looked   
around before his gaze fell on the surprised Minako. "Oh, darling!" The man   
exclaimed. "I tried to get you out of my head but I just couldn't!"  
  
Makoto lazed back as several other men came into the room much like   
Motoki had, "Hey Mako-chan," Rei walked over to her. "Ever wished to   
actually get your sempai back?" Rei inquired.  
  
"Sure, but I wish he was actually good looking, had brains, manners...   
you know, a good man. Know where I can find one?" The brunette asked.  
  
Rei laughed at this, "Not in this anime!" The dark-haired woman   
shook her head, "But I'm sure we can work things out..."  
  
A few moments later...  
  
"Rei-chan, he's really hot." Makoto half drooled when she said   
this and Rei could only gap and nod her head dumbly, "I have to admit you   
have great taste!"  
  
"Thanks! Wow, this trinket is great!" Rei whispered back, "Do I   
have to give him to you though?"  
  
Makoto laughed, "Feel free to conjure up another!"  
  
A minute later.  
  
"I can't decide!" Rei muttered as she slouched next to her friend.  
  
"Wanna have some fun by swapping and trading?" Makoto suggested.  
  
"Sure!" Rei grinned, "You know what, Mako-chan? You're great with   
these ideas!"  
  
Makoto shrugged at this as she gave her friend a smile, "Hey,   
you're the one that's making dreams come true here. Anyway, how are you   
using that without losing abnormal amounts of life energy?"  
  
"I wished that Mamoru would be the one the Crystal drew life on."   
Rei shrugged towards the dark-haired man who was now sprawled unconscious on   
the hospital floor as Jupiter's eyes gleamed with wicked understanding,   
"That and the rest of the youma world and their thug bosses would like, also   
turn into guinzuishou batteries so we don't have to fight them full powered,   
you know? Hey, I have no need for any one of those things or beings or   
whatever they are."  
  
"Almost made me wish you go the role of Sailor Moon," Jupiter sighed   
sadly.  
  
Mars laughed at this incredulously, "You kidding me? And go out   
getting hit by a Mack driven by that baka cat? No way! I'd rather be a   
bitch!" Laughing, they settled on playing strip poker with the newly  
conjured up dream men.  
  
Life's a bastard, Jupiter conceded, but sometimes it was one   
wonderful bitch indeed!  
  
  
  
  
.The End.  
  
  
  
.blue.  
  
  
blue: Tired of wondering about all those times you've  
spent in front of the screen, just to see the   
senshi get their butts kicked and not know why?   
Well! I hope this teaches you a lesson...  
Luna: And what's that?  
blue: Umm.... the author's god?  
Mars: Yeah, and she's about to be toasted for bashing  
us multiple times and having us aim at trees! TREES!  
Couldn't it be something cooler--  
Venus: Like us hitting store windows and robbing them of  
the new Sailor V manga... starring *me* of course ^_^v  
Jupiter: Venus-chan, you're being a bad role model for  
kids all over the world!  
Venus: But I'd save money, ne? I mean, come on! They   
just don't give us enough sales, and Rei-chan's  
the only one with any manga collection that gets  
updated. What about me? What about Usagi-chan?  
Why do we have to suffer the injustice of a  
low allowance?  
Mercury: You spend it all on the arcade, that's why.  
blue: HEY! This is MY ending! Pay attention to ME!!!  
Don't--  
Moon: You guys are all so mean!  
Everyone except Sailormoon: *Ignoring the only girl with  
the boyfriend in the anime.* "Whatever!"  
  
Yeah, well, the senshi-bashing fics finally got to me, okay?  
And NO! I'm not insane... I'm *eccentric*.  
  
Nani yo - What?Rei - Mars  
Matte - StopMinako - Venus  
Hai - YesMakoto - Jupiter  
Iie - NoAmi - Mercury  
Manga - Japanese comicUsagi - Moon  
Baka - idiotSenshi - Soldier(s)  
Odango - dumpling (head) [Usagi's nickname]  
Min'na - Everyone  
Ne? - "Right?" or "Don't you agree?"  
Youma - demon  
  
.blue. 


End file.
